[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] “IT HAS BEEN AN INDUSTRY SECRET, BUT RETIRING FROM DJ’ING WILL BOOST YOUR DJ CAREER IN WAYS YOU’D NEVER IMAGINE” Often DJs ask us: “What is truly the best way to boost my DJ career? How can I fill my agenda with gigs a year out? How do I get people to flock […]
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CARL COX TO ERASE DJ MAG 100 WINS FROM BIO WHEN MARTIN GARRIX COPS TITLE?
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] The quality of the list has been diluted by mainstream copycats and iPad promo teams Finally, this year MARTIN GARRIX is expected to win the DJ MAG TOP 100. But rumors have it CARL COX is not having it. CARL COX, the multi-year winner of the list in its early stages supposedly is saddened […]
Read MoreA&R: SECRET TO SKRILLEX’ SUCCESS IS HIS BROKEN WASHING MACHINE (SHARE)
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] “Sonny grabbed Bieber and threw him in his washing machine. After one short cold wash cycle, he captured enough screams of agony to make something work” SKRILLEX is one such artists that enjoyed immense success in must a short amount of time. As a brostep pioneer, many believe that his production success can […]
Read MoreWINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER – NOT IBIZA – PRIME CAUSE OF KET AND MUSHROOM USE (SHARE)
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] When a lad from Nottingham posted a video of him taking shrooms while watching the Felix video, a widespread underground Windows Media Player drug culture originated. For years it was assumed the cause for Britain’s greatest drug epidemic of the last 25 years stemmed from out-of-control lads returning from the Spanish party island of Ibiza. There it […]
Read MoreCLUBBER HAS DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL CHAT WITH LYFT SPAM BOT IN FB EVENT PAGE
[wp_ad_camp_2] “House is a feeling that no one can understand really unless you’re deep into the vibe of house.” [wp_ad_camp_1] A CLUBBER recently got into an in-depth philosophical chat when a Lyft Spam Bot posted a Lyft promo offer in a random Facebook event page. It all started when MIKE GIANNOPOULOS came back from a […]
Read MoreBURNING MAN ‘TOO SURVIVALIST’ FOR BEAR GRYLLS – CANCELS APPEARANCE
[wp_ad_camp_2] “After learning there is no luxury designer handbag store anywhere close, he cancelled the appearance.” [wp_ad_camp_1] BEAR GRYLLS, the world’s favorite survivalist cancelled a Burning Man appearance after concerns about the situation being ‘too survivalist’ for him. Grylls, who is used to staying in penthouse suites in nothing but 5 star hotels while […]
Read MoreDEADMAU5 USES FAMOUS HELMET TO KEEP EGO IN PLACE AT PERFORMANCES
[wp_ad_camp_2] “WHEN DEADMAU5 PLAYED SHOWS, HIS EGO GOT SO INFLATED HE NEEDED TO HAVE A LONG TERM SOLUTION FOR IT” [wp_ad_camp_1] DEADMAU5, arguably among the more talented people in EDM, rose to fame partly because of his notable Mouse helmet. However, rather than a gimmick, it’s reported to be a doctor’s prescription. Whenever Deadmau5 has to […]
Read MoreATHEISTS WITH MEGAPHONES SHOW AT EDM FESTIVAL; TRY AND CONVERT BELIEVERS
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] “If god is a DJ, why are there so many shitty ones?” Yesterday at one of New York’s biggest EDM festivals, an unexpected MOB OF ATHEISTS with megaphones showed up. After working the campgrounds in t-shirts that said “Sinners are Winners” and shouting “Why didn’t Noah swat those mosquitos?!” they proceeded to the hardhouse stage […]
Read MoreROOKIE BOUNCER REFUSES KLOCK AT BERGHAIN FOR LOOKING TOO CASUAL
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] With Klock in front of him in a blue shirt, wearing training pants and seeing how he completely skipped the line, laughing in the midst of a fairly big group of woozy lads, Matthias had no mercy for Klock and refused him at the door for looking way too casual. BEN KLOCK, one […]
Read MoreSOURCE: MARSHMELLO TO SUE DJ ARSE SMELLO? (SHARE)
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] “I can’t mix for shit. Butt who cares? EDM is what I love and no one should be too anal about the technical aspects of it.” New on the scene and rapidly getting massively popular, DJ ARSE SMELLO is not just your average masked DJ. He is the first DJ to market himself […]
Read MoreTRUMP: “MY BIGGEST SACRIFICE? LISTENING TO BLUE DA BA DEE, DA BA DA.”
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] “At the first notes, Donald cringed and thought the song to be horrible and of the worst kind” Caught in a world of backlash, DONALD TRUMP finally announced one of his many sacrifices: In the mid nineties, while on his first date with Melania Trump, he endured listening to Blue Da Ba Dee, […]
Read MoreMARTIN GARRIX INVESTS IN UNIQUE SET OF PYRO-TECHNICS TURNTABLES
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] Whenever Martin is about to ignite the dancefloor with another floorburner, the turntables will throw 40 ft. high flames up in the air” In a bid to stay ahead of the competition and silence the nay-sayers, MARTIN GARRIX has invested in a unique pair of Pyro-Technics Turntables. Martin, proud to have invested in […]
Read MoreMEXICO TO FUND WALL TO PREVENT PISS POOR EDM FROM ENTERING THE COUNTRY
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] Juan del Carmen: “It will get a lot harder to visit our families stateside, but all for the greater good of preventing whack DJs and piss poor produced EDM from entering our country..” A Gofundme campaign started by the mayor of a small, rural Mexican town is going viral. The campaign has an […]
Read MoreROLAND TO RE-RELEASE LEGENDARY TB 303 WITHOUT RESONANCE KNOB
[wp_ad_camp_2] [wp_ad_camp_1] JOKICHI TAMATEI: “WE DECIDED TO RE-RELEASE THE TB 303 WITHOUT RESONANCE KNOB SO IT COULD SOUND LIKE A BASS GUITAR AGAIN.” In light of the ongoing success of TB 303 clones and Roland’s own TB-3 digital update, Roland finally has decided on a fully analog re-release of the original TB-303, only with one […]
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